Tracked down

I am paranoid. While trying repeatedly* to call the nurse hotline at Dr. Dieu's it actually crossed my mind that maybe I'd never get through. Maybe they were all on vacation. Maybe I'd finally get through next Tuesday and hear a message saying they'd moved the entire facility to another location because of a bomb threat from a disgruntled cycler. A lot can run through your mind when you hit redial 32 times in one morning.

I was calling to discuss the last cycle. I had a few threats in mind and I hoped to sound like someone with attitude and a don't f*uck with me tone in my voice but the unfortunate reality is that I'm not very threatening on the phone in French with my laughable American accent, and I have no ammunition in the way of "if you screw this up again I won't come back EVER!" I think I actually would have made them happy if I'd said that. After all there was one less whiny patient to deal with. Good riddance.

When I finally got through I was all out of gumption. I couldn't work up the energy to scream. I was just relieved to hear a human voice on the end of the line. I told the nurse my story, or rather repeated it to her because she remembered me from last month and interrupted me midway to tell me "I remember you" so she wouldn't have to suffer through my sad tale a second time. She tried to ease my worried mind by saying repeatedly "don't worry" but I told her I was worried anyway. I waited while she sighed and grumbled to herself. Then I swear I heard a pencil scratching as she probably scribbled "paranoid, high-maintenance patient!!!" next to my name. And then she sighed again and said "Okay well, I guess we'll do an early controle on day nine"

I sat there on the phone a little befuddled. Hmmm early controle!? Is this a good thing or not. Wow that sounds like they're really on top of this! But after I got off the phone I reflected a little more. Early controle isn't jack.

Early controle is obviously some sort of shut me up compensation of the I don't even know what variety. What will happen on day 9 doesn't concern me much at all. It's days 11-15 that I'm worried about, and specifically day 12, last month's surprise O day. This month it falls on a Sunday when all the clinics and hospitals in France are closed. Saturday, the day before is hard too because most clinics and blood labs close early and are poorly staffed. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Weekend treatment in France is a scary thing.

So I got an early controle. What I really want is hourly blood draws on day 11, 12 and 13. Don't they realize that?

Call me ungrateful. Go ahead. I know, I know. At least I got something...(what I really want is some real pretty embryos and a baby. Is that too much to ask? grrrrrr)

*I've been calling them since last Thursday

CD 2

Well here we go again. I'm feeling slightly blasé about this cycle. Cancellations are awful. Nobody likes waiting in line and getting turned back right at the last minute. You get to tell everyone else things like "hey last time the coffee was better and there were donuts" or "that lady is nice but that one, watch out. What a wench...!!"

Hopefully this time we'll at least get SERVED.

Next Friday I have an appointment with Dr. Stonehenge for a scan. After then I'll be Miss Vigilant right along with them and I'll be demanding daily blood work. Notice though how my crucial day 10 appointment is on a FRIDAY and if the cycle works out like last time I'll likely ovulate around Monday. The hospital doesn't do transfers on Sunday and no one works on Sunday. Weekend IVF treatment is scary in France.

Gulp.

I will point this out to them in a lengthy and annoying phone call today.

Time is passing quickly

We aren't so far away from starting the next FET. Lucky me and my short cycles, right. Anyway I should see AF sometime at the end of this week and I'll start the treatment the following week.

I got a funny comment on You Tube from a pharmacist in the states. He seemed to think I was a know it all and was very rude to the pharmacist in my Visit to the Pharmacy video. He said I should leave the job of filling prescription to the professionals. Anyway the funny thing is that last time I went into my pharmacy the woman was really nice to me and she said "you know it's good that you knew your treatment because it's a complicated one for us to understand!" I don't want to be a know it all but if the treatment gets screwed up it's my body who suffers. I already have the case of where I was afraid to question the nurse who injected me with 900IU's of Gonal-F and sent my body into shock. I lost the cycle and almost landed in the hospital for emergency transfusions. After that I decided it was best to pay closer attention to my treatment and not be afraid to question what doesn't look right. I think this is true of any treatment. After a while the patient does become an expert and confronted with an intern or someone in training she may actually be the one who knows better.

Video diary - "The FET that Wasn't"

Here's the video I posted on You Tube about my latest news. It's pretty much what I already talked about here but I figured I'd better explain because if you don't read the blog and just follow the videos, well...

It really helps to talk to the video camera! I felt a lot better after making this video. I guess seeing myself on camera helps me laugh about it all.