Ovulation you say...what ovulation?

I just glanced at my FF calendar last night and realized that yes, I had already ovulated seeing as it was cycle day 15 and all. I didn't even notice.

I think I have a deep rooted fear of repeating last year's events: getting pregnant right before the IVF scheduled LAST November, losing the pregnancy, having the IVF cancelled because hey, I'm now fertile! Then of course not getting to do IVF again until well, now actually, one year later.

On the other hand I hear this very loud ticking. Do you hear it too? It's positively deafening. I can't believe I let another cycle go down the tubes.* WHAT ... I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TICKING? I said "I CAN'T BELIVE I LET..."

Nevermind.

Too much time on my hands

I hate the wait between treatments. It feels like an eternity to that next appointment, an appointment to discuss the next step. The conclusion will most definitely be IVF number two, we all know that. Why can't we just say this over the telephone? I know the good doctor won't change my protocol. He'll blame statistics on my first failure. He's probably right but I don't want to hear it.

But why not a simple telephone call and a faxed prescription. It could all be so simple and we could get started now.

Instead I'll go in next month and we'll talk about American politics for twenty minutes. He'll print out a prescription for my dosage to start treatment after my next period in October. I'll stim in early November and maybe into December. And then . . .hmm, well we don't know that part yet do we, the really fucky part of it all.

I'm ready to get started now. Why can't we start today?