Braxton baby

Yesterday I spent the entire day ironing and watching America's Next Top Model--a very guilty addiction that I'm trying to cure by getting through all the episodes as quickly as possible. Seb came downstairs and asked me to go up with him to see something he was working on in one of the upstairs bedrooms and this required climbing the ladder. I'm pretty bad about climbing this ladder anyway because I'm at that stage in the pregnancy where hills and stairs are my nemesis and I will do anything to avoid them. When I reached the top of the ladder a huge contraction gripped me and I had to actually sit down and breathe through it. Even though I knew it was brought on by standing too long and then exerting myself it scared the bejesus out of me. I don't want to go in to labor at 18 weeks and although it probably wasn't that at all it felt like that and gave me a lot of food for thought.

my ANTM pregnancy pose--attempting to look fierce with some attitude

My sun allergy is slightly better but maybe that's because I've been avoiding the sun like crazy. You can see from my clothes in the picture that I'm choosing long sleeves and jeans even though it's in the upper 80's here. My skin still itches a lot even though most of the red bumps are gone and I think it will take a few weeks to feel completely normal. I'm hoping it's just a temporary hormone surge and nothing that lasts the entire pregnancy. It's really going to ruin my vacation plans. Just riding in the car in Florida you can't help but get sun. Besides that my vacation will be spent inside on the couch and not in my parents beautiful new swimming pool. Seb of course will be just on the other side of the sliding glass doors floating on the raft with his drink and feeling no sympathy whatsoever!

Sunny scratches

I have this weird sun allergy which I talked about here on my other blog. It's really painful, red and itchy! Luckily it's just on my arms and neck.

When I googled it I found out that it was due to excess estrogeon during pregnancy. And I also discovered that there isn't anything to be done about it. I just have to try to avoid the sun. I'm sure it's common to lots of women but I suppose if you don't have a summer pregnancy then you never realize it.

Underwears

As thrilling as it is to be pregnant a second time I have to admit that second pregnancies are not as exciting as the first. Half the time I forget I'm pregnant. "oh yeah... not supposed to eat that cheese...oh well!"

And hey who is going to fish turds out of the cat box if it isn't me? Answer, nobody.

And the maternity wardrobe is non existent. For tops I just buy everything two sizes up in stretch fabrics, usually black. For bottoms I have exactly one pair of maternity jeans, a stretchy sort of skirt and two pairs of maternity shorts. I'm comfortable and fashionable and I don't look like walking a circus tent. I just don't want to invest in pregnancy clothes. It doesn't interest me.

The only problem I still have is underwear. I'm beyond regular underwear. I just passed that milestone last week. And yes I must BUY those ugly spandex underwear from the grocery store. I hate wearing those things. I love pretty underwear and having to wear those things is pure torture. But dang they are comfortable. There's nothing worse than having lace underwear riding up your butt crack. So I get used to them and then I bend over and Seb says "my god those are horrible!" because there's nothing more appalling to a French husband than women in ugly underwear.

Cutting the cord

Little Miss Sushi has been quiet lately and not making much fuss at all. I was worried a few days ago, but now I know after a few bumps that everything in sushi land is okay and I was pleased to get the confirmation with a little tap, dainty and polite as if to say "Aw ma I'm fine...stop all your worrying, jeez!"

I have another monthly visit soon and then perhaps another one and then that's it. I will be left floating doctor-less until we arrive in Mexico and settle in in September. The thought terrifies me even though I know people switch doctors mid-pregnancy all the time.

Actually I haven't even told Dr. Stonehenge that I will be moving yet. I just didn't see the point. I knew he'd treat me with less interest and probably wouldn't offer me all these wonderful scans if I did tell him and frankly I have been hoping that a solution would manifest where I'd get to stay. But I will have to tell him this next visit in two weeks time. I really do dread telling him and cutting that tie. It just seems weird.

Giving birth in Mexico

Attention y'all there's lots of birth talk here. I just thought I'd say that in case someone wants to click off this post.

Well it is looking more and more like the baby will arrive in Mexico come hell or high water. Even though I have been trying desperately to come up with a Plan B there doesn't seem to be any other solution but to have the baby there in November.

I'm not afraid of Mexican hospitals or clinics in the sense that you might think. I'm pretty confident in fact that all of the ones we visited in April are top notch medical facilities. The fear is in the word medical. I'm not looking for a medical birth and Mexico it seems is all about medical. The articles I've come across have confirmed what I suspected. The doula/midwife is an archaic notion of past ways and her role is becoming nonexistant in Mexico. It's all about sleek, shiny medical facilities and high tech equipment. The midwife is for poor people living in the rural countryside. The association of her with a hospital is absurd. Her place in society is slowly dying out and she is offered little respect for her knowledge or ability.

I have been corresponding with a few women in Mexico, namely a cheery woman whose e-mail address was passed on to me because she is American and recently gave birth in the town where we'll be living and in the same hospital I am slated to deliver in. Maria is actually Mexican/American spending the first half of her 30 years in the USA and then moving to Mexico in her teens. I sometimes feel her eagerness to defend her Mexican side's medical capacity seeping through her e-mails. I think she too thinks I doubt Mexico's medical capacity. I have spent time trying to convince her that I am looking for a doula/midwife birth because it's what I want, not because it's what I'm trying to avoid. (I want that but in a hospital setting in case something goes wrong and I of course want some drugs because I'm a wimp).

After our initial getting to know you letters back and forth I delved in to my list of questions about her birth experience, a lot of it based on my birth experience. There were a lot of red flags in her responses to my questions (my questions are in bold followed by her answers):

Was there a bath available for pre labor? My water broke and I took my shower at home and then left to the hospital where they just prepared me.

Okay they "prepared her" (like surgery?) Maybe she's talking about attaching a fetal monitor but I did feel from my hospital tour that the doctor is definitely in charge of it all and you'd get "prepped." I got the distinct impression from talking with people that I'd be going in for a scheduled tumor removal in my uterus.

Were there a lot of sages femmes (doulas) or was it mainly just doctors in the maternity? Only Doctor, Pediatrician, the anesthecia specialist, and a nurse.

There's that doctor again. I have a big fear of him/her. I'm baffled about the pediatrician part. Isn't it a little early for him to show up?

-Did you get to keep the baby in the room with you if you wanted? No they bring the baby when its time to feed him only for and hour. Anyone can go see the baby to the crib section through glass. It is very secure so no one enters but the nurses.

There seems to be a big issue about baby stealing in Mexico which kind of freaked me out. a) I don't want my baby stolen b) I don't want to have to enter a digicode to go visit my baby c) visiting babies through glass went out in the US in the sixties with my mom's mandatory tubal ligation (because her doctor said four children was enough) d) breastfeeding through glass? explain please...

-Did you get to have your husband stay overnight after the birth if you wanted to ? Yes my husband entered through the whole labor part and went with the doctor after they took the baby to the crib section with the nurses. Then he stayed over night, they can stay and visit you all day.

Okay again here's that "take the baby" part.

Maybe I was spoiled with my son's birth. My birth was attended by two wonderful midwives who gently coached me through every step and yes who actually "cheered" in unison when I made any progress (annoying at the time but helpful in retrospect). The doctor was only called in when the baby got stuck. I regretted that part. I wished I hadn't self dosed myself so much during the epidural so I could have stood to help him turn. I vowed to try to go a little lighter on the meds next time so I could feel my legs and stand. Anything to avoid the dreaded forceps again.

After the delivery he was immediately placed on my chest, cord still attached. He was briefly swiped and swaddled and then left with me and Seb alone in the room for an hour. The lights were dimmed. He never left my side from that moment on. He slept in my hospital bed at night and had a small bed in my room for times when I was tired. It just felt right. It's the way it's done in almost all French hospitals and the way I wanted it to be again. The only change I wanted was to eliminate the doctor entirely if at all possible. Not that the doctor was a big baddie but when he stepped in the entire tone changed and he kind of took over.

Maria was very kind to answer my questions and I understand that she is giving me her version of what I want to hear. She somehow thinks it will comfort or please me to know that birth in Mexico is nothing to fear-- babies are safely locked behind glass and doctors won't leave me squatting over a bucket like some poor mountain woman. What she doesn't understand is that is exactly what I feel is wrong. I don't think I could ever convince her otherwise.

So here I stand worrying in my fifth month of pregnancy. I feel a little trapped by the choices in Mexico. I'm trying to be open minded about it all but the time between when we arrive and when I give birth is short and I know I won't be able to do much about it. Isn't there any way I can be here in France two days before the baby's due?