Round two in the Fall

I'm slowly feeling better. The weekend helped me gain perspective and I had Seb here too. I think it was hard not having him here to cushion the blow when I got the official news last Tuesday. I really needed someone to give me giant ten minute bear hug after hearing it. I finally got that on Friday afternoon and of course I sobbed into Seb's shirt until he had a giant wet spot on his chest. We talked everything through and agreed that maybe we were being a little too optimistic to think it could work the first time. We both agreed that now was not the time to give up, in fact on the contrary it was time to get to work. Our diet needs tweeking and we need to try to get more rest and build up our energy reserves. I think we both are a little battle worn from the past few months and it hasn't helped our chances going into IVF with an already weary mind and heart.

So I have my appointment for September 20th, the consultation to discuss the next step. I'm pretty sure the discussion will involve another try without changing much, except maybe just a tiny change to the dosage of Gonal-F. I hope so because I was only taking 112 IU's this time as compared to 300 IU's with my very first IVF! I think I'll ask some questions about my progesterone levels. I'd like to know if I can have my progesterone closely monitered next time. I spotted so much during this cycle that I felt like something wasn't holding back my period. I don't think it's normal to spot so early on while taking progesterone. I also want to know why they don't measure my lining before the transfer. If they are measuring it, they aren't telling me. I'd hate to think that perfectly good embryoes are just sitting there with no cushy place to attach themselves. It will at least ease my mind to know what the thickness is.

I can just see Dr. Dieu rolling his eyes right now. He'll run his hands through his thick whisped hair, lean back in his chair and smirk saying something snarky like, "Oh you American's always have to know everything don't you." Then he'll look at my husband and say "women always have to take charge of everything don't they...I guess it's the same worldwide." That's Dr. Dieu. I can't complain though because it was his team of doctors and biologists who gave us our lovely little boy. How can you argue with such perfection? I don't think you can. Come on Dr. Dieu make me another beautiful babe!

*Thank you to all my friends for your sweet messages and phone calls. It helped to hear those voices and get those e-mails and messages on my blog. You're wonderful.