I really can't keep a straight head about the amnio. I keep flip flopping on what to do. I've discussed it with a few friends who had the procedure done and they all say it's scary yes but it gave them peace of mind. Another friend said "don't do it." She said that she had a lot of cramping afterwards and she was sure she was losing the baby. "You can't lose this baby Chris. You worked too hard to get it."
But at the same time I'm scared because I would like to make sure that everything is okay. I'd like to have the peace of mind that I will deliver a healthy baby.
So many people have asked me about the amnio. At a party at my in-laws people kept commenting on my pregnancy and then openly asking me when it was scheduled for. It was assumed I suppose that I would have the amnio because of my age. I just said "we're trying to decide" and left it at that. I don't feel like I want to discuss this with anyone but Seb and a few close friends. It's odd how it's the second question I get asked after the due date though. I feel like people are saying "okay yeah you're pregnant but we want to know is it a healthy baby?" should we really be getting excited here or not?
So I am flip-flopping. I keep telling myself that at the next ultrasound (ie. next appointment in my case because Dr. Stonehenge does one every month!) I'll know more. We'll see more. We can decide then. Meanwhile the clock is ticking.
Oh and by the way I can feel the baby moving! I wrote about it here on my other blog.
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7 comments:
Chris - I understand your concerns. The amnio was uncomfortable but I did find a lot of peace of mind in getting it. With my age and especially my history, I just had to do it. My OB highly recommended it because of losing my last baby to Anencephaly.
I took it easy after my amnio for like a day. I don't recall having much cramping or anything that concerned me much.
I find that odd that everyone keeps asking you about amnio? I've never been asked that. I'm the opposite. Everyone on Dh's side seems to wonder why I had it done?
GOod luck in your decision process. Its a very personal choice.
Arwen
I'm also surprised that people are so openly asking about it, as if it's assumed that everybody does it (and as if it's an easy decision).
Do you know the blog 'Til My Head Falls Off? She blogs about Down Syndrome after IVF. Might be interesting? Or not.
It never occured to me to do the amnio the first time around, and since this is an FET from that same cycle although I am older the eggs were not, and yet I'm considering it this time. And it's not easy, is it?
I had the CVS done, because my IVF doctor recommended it, and I could not bear the thought of having a special needs baby (I have been open about this and received quite awful mail on my blog for it). The CVS was painful and disturbing, and I had cramps for the next 2 days. I stayed home and relaxed. Our nuchal reading was abnormal and I was glad to get the CVS done. Also one of my friend insisted on an amnio despite having totally normal scans and discovered at 5 months her baby had Trisomy 18 -- a form of trisomy with a life expectancy of only a few weeks. She got a late abortion. It is all a matter of choice, but the New York Times you mentioned was interesting: because so many people get the test and 90% of the mothers get an abortion when the test shows the baby has trisomy, trisomy is getting much more rare.. which means even less resources for those individuals, especially when they become adults and their parents can't care for them anymore.
PS: amnio is now being pushed to all women because associated risks have been shown to be lower than expected... So people might ask you about it because they read about this, not because they assume that you are over 35!
I suppose that in Europe since it's 100 percent paid for by most govt health plans and strongly encouraged to women over 36 yo that it's considered a given most women who are this age will have it. A lot of people know people who have had it done because it's just so common. I guess what shocked me and what these people who openly discuss it don't realize is that it's still a choice and a very personal choice at that. It just seemed odd to me that it got lumped in with "so do you want a boy or a girl?...when the due date?" questions. I wasn't angry just shocked.
Two of the people who asked were friends of mil's and I know she strongly suggests we do it so it's a given that they would ask about it.
God this really is a tugh one. We were offered an amnio with Jaya as our nuchal fold result was prety bad. In our case we had a long discussion and it all boiled down to what we would do if the amnio told us we were having a special needs baby...would we abort or not. We decided that we wouldn't abort whatever the result so therefore there was no point in having the amnio and running the risk of miscarrying. We did get them to look for markers at the 20 week scan though and there were no signs and f course as you know Jaya is fine.
As Marie-baguette said it basically boils down to whether you could cope with having a special needs baby or not, and that has to be your own choice and you mustn't let anyone make you feel bad either way about it.
Exciting stuff about feeling the moving though, I remember I felt movements much earlier with Jove than wth Jaya!
People here were horrified that I was having the amnio. I guess they assumed we would terminate if there were any anomalies. I am not certain we would have, but I just couldn't live with the uncertainty. Oddly enough, I was totally OK not finding out the gender either time.
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