A visit to the pharmacy

I stopped in the pharmacy yesterday where a very old, starchy looking man stood waiting for me to hand over a prescription. I had none such thing. I had a list in my head of conception related items. Completely bizarre ones:

folic acid + vitamin B6 (50-100mg)
Robitussin type cough syrup with guaifenesin
baby aspirin
10 ml syringes

And the farty old pharmicist began to grill me:

"Do you have a prescription for the veeta-meen?"
"How old is the buh-bay?
"Why do you need the syringes?"
"Is it a dry or wet cough you have?"

Needless to say I left the pharmacy empty handed. I didn't feel like explaining myself while all the other customers standing directly behind me tapping their feet eavesdropped. Oh how I long for a normal pharmacy section in a store like Walmart or Target! I can look as long as I like, no questions asked. I can get what I want. My god I can have a little privacy!

Here would have been my very loud responses if I had more nerve.

"No I don't have a prescription for the veeta-meens but I'm training my body for some pretty hot sex so I need all the energy I can get."

"the baby isn't here yet but the baby aspirin might make sure it stays in my body instead of the toilet, know what I mean"

"I want the syringes because I'm too tired to have hot sex every day for 10 days straight, let's just call them genetic squirtguns... "

"The cough medicine is for my vagina actually...I'd say you could call it a dry cough in this case ..."

Lord help me I want so badly to be bold enough to say those things one day. I was so frustrated not to get what I wanted. This always happens to me here though. You really have to leave your brain at the door in the French pharmacy. Half of the time they end up giving me something I didn't even want. I'm so tired of this. I KNOW what I want so give it to me. And why on earth do I need a prescription for vitamins?

I'm definitely going back ...