Where you have to go back to the beginning of the board and you lose a turn and you don't get to pass GO. It's completely unfair and I'm very tired of playing this stupid game.
Tomorrow I'll be going through my monotonous Monday list of stuff to do and over half of it is fucking fertility related...call doctor, call clinics, call lab, order meds. This is all so tiring.
I'm feeling very beat up. I'm really getting to the point where I'm ready to give up. I really, really am. My god I've already been here. I've done all this before for over five freakin' years of my life and I really don't think I have the energy to do it for very much longer. I'm just drained. The worst part is that I no longer feel like me at all. I feel like someone who goes through the motions of being me until she can have a positive pregnancy test. The me person pops up occasionally but she's squashed by this pathetic THING. It's completely taken over my life and I hate it. I just want to step away and let somebody else deal with it while I go on trying to enjoy my life a little ...
BUT IT WON'T LET ME!!
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3 comments:
Hi Chris,
Sorry you are feeling so down this weekend - just wanted to offer you a great big (((((((cyber-hug))))))). Don't give up!! I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you, Casey
I'm joining Casey in the cyber hug. I see your "me person" in the humor and compassion of your posts. She is tired and scared, but she will recover in time. I'm in your corner.
Thank you. I was having a very BAD moment. Lots of tears and stomping around for a few days there. I kind of still am in a bad frame of mind but things are in a little better perspective now. Well sort of. Hugs are very appreciated but I think I need a girls night out with a fattening meal followed by lots of tequila. Can't we do a cyber version of THAT?
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