The bomb

My telephone and internet has been disconnected for four days and you can't imagine how difficult that has been. No internet. No Google. No nobody. It's been a very lonely four days.

Maybe it was a good thing to be cut off from the world. I think I needed the solitude. Today was the first day since Sunday that I left the house. Yes, as you can imagine the second IVF has failed. I never made it to the beta. I got the news Monday morning, special delivery from The Splotch Lady herself. It seems my name was on her *#@&! clipboard after all.

I still felt the need to write over the past four days and I kept a diary. It's pretty raw so I'm not sure if I will want to share it. Then again it probably would have all been posted here anyway. I'll consider putting it up over the next few days. It may help someone else to realize that they aren't so alone if they read about my feelings during this whole thing.

My mailbox was wonderfully full. Thanks you all for your concern and for being there. I really wish I could have read them earlier.