Madame G's words

I have been feeling better, especially since receiving the report from the laboratory about the two frozen blasts. I feel like a proud mother. I almost don't want to use them. I'd just like to keep them with me my whole life and know that they're mine.

Tacked to my refrigerator I have a few things. There is the payment request for my son's emergency visit to the hospital in July. Its a menial sum of about 7 euros and I have no idea why it's still not paid. Billing in France is strange like that. Bills pop up months later. The other paper is a scribbled note from a neighbor who lives a few blocks away. He hit our car one night with his moped. He was drunk. It was during the World Cup game and he said he'd borrowed his sons bike to go for a spin. We never asked him to do the repairs. Our car is a piece of crap anyway. Another paper has the date for the next appointment with my RE, December 18th at 3:40. I have placed that one in the middle. I'm not likely to forget it but I just want it there to remind me that there is advancement. There is some hope. The last piece of paper is from our friend in Normandy, Madame G. Madame G is a silly extravagance of ours. She's a clairvoyante. We feel particularly attached to her because she was someone my husband went to when he was very down and having serious relationship problems over seven years ago. What she predicted for him was so right it was scary. At the time he thought she was full of it. Two weeks later I dropped into his life. It's goose bump scary the things she tells us each year when we go see her. I won't list them all here but suffice to say that she put our meeting on the map down to the month. She has been so right about so much that when she says something our ears prick up and we listen intently because as surprising as some of the things sound at the time they almost always come true.

We often write to Madame G and most recently in August we wrote her to get some advice about a financial matter because she's never been wrong yet. In her letter she wrote us back and said "please do not worry one bit about having a second baby. I see another IVF bringing good results and you will have that little girl I keep telling you about." She has always assured us of this from the beginning. For the record so have other people through our past. Madame G though has that rock solid record to back her up. Even if you don't believe in this sort of stuff, understand what comfort I find in looking at that piece of paper and feeling like someone other than me believes that this will eventually happen. That piece of paper and her confident words motivate me to continue. It makes me feel like "yeah, what if someone is waiting for us?" It motivates me because I feel like we can't give up until all of our IVFs, all four of them and then some have been exhausted. We're only halfway there. We still have a long way to go but I'm sure we'll get there.