In the realm of normal, everyday people the pregnancy flu is raging! It's been a running joke among the expats here in France how everyone is suddenly expecting and you better be careful because it seems contagious. Like I said it's positively floating in the air here. As if that weren't enough to leave me with a huge question mark over why I'm immune to this disease, I just visited a favorite blog this morning, that of a young, unmarried twenty-something who lives in Paris. I really enjoy her obscure little blog because she's smart and funny and has a really interesting job. Guess what? She just found out she's pregnant. It was an accident and she has been in the realms of trying to decide what to do. I'm not lamenting her being in the awful decision making place she's in, but it is extremely hard to read her words, the words of someone writing about an accidental pregnancy struggling with trying to decide whether or not to keep the baby. I was aghast as I sat there following her saga. I mean it was not the casual morning coffee read I was looking for. Even if I have no qualms about her choices, I am after all staunchly pro-choice, I do get an involuntary ringing sensation in my ears when I read about her reactions. When she writes that she is not really sure what week she's in and that will have to be figured out as she goes on. And when she tells how she was told that the beginning of the pregnancy was supposed to be what she calls "the difficult part of it all," just seeing her call it a "part" and not a "trimester" makes me say ARGH! I have a hard time preventing my brain from exploding with the unfairness of it all. I who am obsessed by beta numbers and all the minute details of getting and keeping a child am just completely bowled over when I am reminded that some people can get there without really even trying, and then they can not even want to be there when it does happen. All I can say is "why can't we just change places?"
Anyway, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, ...okay well maybe a little bit, but I am in shocked amazement. And I will always find accidental pregnancy stories difficult to digest. I'm sorry but I think I have a psychological condition that fires off all these funny neurons making it nearly impossible to not slap my hand to my chest and scream in a shaky voice"Hey universe!! this is not even remotely funny!."
Please readers do realize that my adverse reaction to this blogger's pregnancy is just because I am warped not her. I know this, trust me. I'm a basket case when it comes to stuff like this. Plus we all know that she probably has an ovarian reserve I'd give my eye teeth for. So trust me when I say I' m not taking issue with her at all. She is just a normal twenty-something who got pregnant. She's apparently decided to keep the baby which is a very brave choice I think. That somehow makes me feel calmer about it all. You see, infertility is tuning me into a conservative! Ewww...
7 comments:
Even though our family is complete (OK-I'd love another, but let's get real), I have major issues with people who get pregnant easily. I know it isn't nice, but it is what it is.
I know isn't that awful. It's very warped.
Hey you still have time to have another Em. You never know!
I followed the links! Ha ha! I understand your reaction to my post 100% (and don't take any offense to what you've written about my story at all, either). My sister is also struggling with fertility issues, and it made this pregnancy even harder to discuss with my family (I'm six years younger than her). She cried when she found out; I felt absolutely dreadful.
You're allowed to feel upset when it's so easy for other people; that's what I feel when I see papas excitedly picking up their kids or taking them to the grocery, as I know that this baby's dad is most likely NOT going to be doing that. I belong to a a discussion forum where everybody asks what their Dear Husband thinks about their growing bellies. My boyfriend refuses categorically to speak to me about this baby, and it IS hard to go about a pregnancy all alone. So even though this pregnancy is *physically* really easy on me, it has been a tough road. I don't know if that somehow makes you feel any better...
Everybody has their tough spots -- I think you're allowed to be sensitive about yours. I know I am horribly sensitive about my own.
Oh hi there Lee Ann! *blushing*
Oh dear. I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot and I have a big mouth. I hope you really aren't angry. I actually felt a little uncomfortable with this post because I didn't want to make it seem like it's because of women who get pregnant by accident that it's unfair or painful, but it's because we are wearing these huge coke bottle glasses that make everything related to fertility and pregnancy larger than life. That was really hard to explain and I think I did a lousy job of it. What I said about your newbie status wasn't meant to ridicule you for it but just to underscore the fact that I am like a walking (freaking) fertility dictionary and it just doesn't seem normal to have all this information while the average women who is pregnant or trying doesn't really follow her ovulation peaks, keep track of dates or take her temperature each morning. I promise I wasn't trying to mock you.
Besides all that there is more to your situation than I described in my sketchy profile of you and for that I owe you an apology. I know that you have a set of problems with this pregnancy that I probably could not imagine getting through. Like I said I think you made a brave choice.
How odd about your sister. Maybe this is what she wants to tell you and you want to tell her but can't.
(meanwhile everyone go to Lee Ann's blog because she's really cool and interesting and she reads a lot of great books and reviews them)
I came back to see if you responded. Voila!
And then to just reassure you that I'm totally cool with everything you said -- really. I think you did a perfectly good job of explaining things from your perspective. Pinky swear. Don't be uncomfortable with your post, I think it was very heartfelt.
(I haven't reviewed books in AGES, and I keep meaning to. Maybe I should get on that.)
Hi! I would love to be able to read lee Ann's blog entries~ as it sounds like an interesting one, but for some reason there is no link. Would you post it for us?
Right there's no link. Lee Ann's blog is called Odessa Street and it's here:
http://www.odessastreet.net/
Lee Ann I think doing book and movie reviews on a blog are a great idea. It says a lot more about the person than an About You profile ever could and it serves a nice purpose for visitors to your blog.
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