Leaping lizards

Last week I stuffed my foot into my crumbling, old, falling-to-pieces slippers and a strange lump in them aggravated me. I picked up the left one and stuck my hand in to straighten out the crinkle. "These old things are so lumpy and crappy. I'll have to throw these out and get some new.....AHHHHHH!" And suddenly a creature jumped from inside the slipper onto my shirt. I didn't have my glasses on yet so I couldn't tell if it was a spider or a lizard or what, but it was heavy. It was a lizard, a forlorn tailless guy who when swatted from my shirt, scurried under a cabinet in the kitchen and hid. It was the creepiest feeling I've had in weeks. A cold shiver ran through me for over an hour.

Feelings...it's what makes us human right? The ability to feel extreme emotion.

Yesterday's ultrasound was on that same wavelength, the same emotional caliber as the lizard attack. Like some kind of weird progesterone influenced dream we were all there, Dr. Stonehenge, Seb and Little S and me, all of us staring at the giant, Monday Night Football ultrasound screen in 4D as Stonehenge asked "do you want to know the sex?" A very pregnant pause followed, most likely having to do with the realization that this moment would repeat itself in our minds the rest of our lives. The completion of our family. The closing of the circle.

He pointed to the screen "Well it's a girl" he said pointing to the triple stripe of the labia, explaining how girl parts form and how with such new technology there could be little doubt.

And so we now know exactly what a lottery winner feels like five seconds after the last winning number is announced. And we walked around with stupid smiles on our face the rest of the day, even though it was pouring down rain and the sky was filled with awful black clouds and thunder that shook the house.

A lizard in my slipper indeed.